So, there’s a bar above the the National Video Game Arcade in Hockley that sells toast and is called Toast. A bar, that sells toast. Just toast. Funnily enough, we’ve never really fancied eating there/noticed it before but, in the midst of a Friday night drinking session with the third wheel (Ken) in tow, it looked like just the thing to line our bellies before indulging further. 

Due to some strange licensing law Toast is, in fact, a private members club so you need to sign up on entry. This is as simple as writing a false name and a humorous address on a clipboard which then grants you a membership card and entry to the bar. 

The bar itself is an informal, shabby but fun set up. There are numerous games consoles and board games lying around,  a bit like a sixth form common room with more beer, but inviting. 

We headed straight to the bar/serving hatch and ordered 3 Endless Summers, one of our fave pale ales from Black Iris brewery, while we perused the Toast menu. 

The menu comprises of toast with various toppings or toasties. Ken stepped in as a connoisseur of toast. He has tasted toasts all over the world and can identify white or brown with his eyes (slightly) closed. He ordered the pizza toastie and recommended we do the same. We nodded in agreement then ignored his advice. I ordered the ham and cheese toastie while Emily ordered the tuna melt. 

After a rather long wait (considering it is literally just hot bread) we were informed that there was not enough wholemeal bread to accommodate both Emily and Ken’s order so one of them had to do the gentlemanly thing and change their order. Emily stepped up and changed her order to white bread. 

When our toasties arrived, our initial concern was that it wasn’t a toastie. A toastie in my eyes has been cooked in a Breville machine that seals the edges to a crisp and encapsulates the tasty molten lava within. What we got was a sandwich made with toast, American ‘grilled cheese’ style. Ken was understandably physically shocked by this and lamented the chef’s lack of adherence to what a text book toastie should be. But, to be fair to them, they were probably trying to elevate the dish to a more sophisticated level than our childhood versions of toasties. 

My sandwich had lots of gooey melted cheese and generous slices of ham. By the end the cheese had started to cool and harden (illustrating the benefits of the Breville toastie) but other than that it was fine. 

Emily’s tuna melt was also fine. Although a bit gloopy and melts, this is often the trademark of good drinking grub. 

Overall, we found toast to be the ideal drinking food. At the time, we needed something to eat but didn’t fancy anything too formal or that would take much time to eat, so this fit the bill perfectly. And they had a great craft beer on tap. 

We got drunk. We fancied toast. We ate toast. We like toast. Cool story. 

Emily & Stu

Overall score: 7/10

Ken, The Third Wheel, says: 

A place that deals specifically in toast, how good can it be ? The answer is pretty good. Yes, let’s not forget it is just a toastie however I was left heartily satisfied with my chorizo filled pizza selection. All the important boxes were ticked: lots of cheese, the correct amount of grease and good, crunchy bread. Still, it was just a warm sandwich at the end of the day so we can’t get too carried away.